In a word, Sandals. To summarise further, lovely white sand and crisp blue sea but an inordinate amount of middle aged tourists in speedos and honeymooners. What follows is the sum total of our non sun, sand and sea related activities.
Funfair
After the ferry we bought tickets for decided not to set off for the island we spent the night on the mainland at a funfair where I threw darts at balloons, shot stones at cans and found out that Thai people are shitbags when it comes to the dodgems. They will do ANYTHING to avoid crashing, which I was led to believe was the whole point.
20" Pizza Challenge
Probably not the challenge for someone who is lactose intolerant but our competitive edge got the better of us. Needless to say we both failed and both made excuses. Her base was a proper thick, cardboardy, school dinner affair though. Refer to my before an after pictures as a warning to you all.
Modelling
On our first day we spent the best part of an hour watching a young couple cavort around the beach taking photos of each other jumping through air, spraying sea water about, sifting sand through their fingers whilst looking seductively into the camera and lying provocatively on rocks whilst looking removed and thoughtful. Forget the temples, skyscrapers and jungles, this was without doubt one of the best things we saw and they were only one of the many couples who did this endlessly without getting bored or causing their memory cards to buckle under the pressure. We tried a few of your own and i'm sure you'll agree that I have a big future ahead of me.
Sandcastling
No trip to the beach would be complete without a sandcastle. I made the moat and collected shells before leaving the flair and finer details to Nat.
I also went snorkelling but don't have much to tell you about that. It was nice. I saw fish and coral reefs really close and spent most of my time with a slightly racist Swede as he was the only person I could understand that wasn't too involved with a Thai Bride.
After the peacefulness of Lake Toba and the wilderness of Bukit Lawang we found ourselves once again with another huge city to navigate. In the airport we were quickly befriended by a Canadian man called Roy and his silent Thai partner. He was keen to tell us which shops to hit, where the floods had hit and invite us to his companions (see how careful i'm being not to say Thai Bride) sisters house to use the internet and get our bearings. As nice and helpful as he was we just didn't feel right and wanted to sort somewhere to stay in town. When his stop came on the sky train we had to politely shake him off and wish him well before going to the end of the line in the middle of Bangkok and getting amongst it. Natalie promptly explained to me that the problem was that he had thin lips and wasn't to be trusted. This must come as a shock to those of you with thin lips who thought for a second that Nat even likes you in the slightest.
In all honesty our stay in Bangkok was pretty uneventful in comparison to other legs of the trip as we ended up staying at a friends step dads house and and taking full advantage of his selection of Alan Partridge DVDs and functioning internet (which informed us that a lanky, pubed haired car fanatic was airing some opinions that not everyone was so keen on). However it is still a great city which we will be seeing more of when we pass through to fly to Vietnam and India next year. Aside from relaxing we did see some good stuff, the highlights of which were.
Night Markets -
You can't go anywhere in Bangkok without ending up at a market of some sort and we took in quite a few, the best of which were Ratchada Night Bazaar and Rot Fai Market. Ratchada is an market where Vespa enthusiasts come to show off and stalls sell everything from vintage car parts to vintage clothing and Rot Fai is a sprawling market outside of town selling just about everything you could imagine. It was here I found some dusty Thai and Chinese records for pennies and Nat found a Kewpie Doll (like one she had as a kid) which I got her as an early Christmas present.
The King's Birthday -
The King is a big deal in Thailand and as such his 84th birthday celebrations were anything but low key. When we say celebrations I don't mean Queens Jubilee, couple of clowns on a cul-de-sac having a picnic celebrations, its more the city is all out enjoying the stalls, plays, and 50ft posters of his face. He is so revered that in Thailand you will be imprisoned for saying anything bad about him. For example, if I was to say he is a boss eyed whopper, which i'm obviously not, I would be looking at serious jail time. Before we arrived someone had just been jailed for 20 years after sending a scathing email about him.
ZudRangMa Records -
After Nat suggested I maybe checked for record shops in the city (I know, I thought that was a bad call after enduring Japan) I found out about ZudRangMa, a cute little store a ten minute walk from where we are satying selling massively expensive Thai Funk and Folk records. I only bought one 7" from the bargain section but it is worth checking the albums they helped compile with Finders Keepers and Soundway if you are interested in Thai music. If your not but would amused by a track that sounds suspiciously like Iron Man by Black Sabbath, check the video below.
Koasan Rd -
Not a highlight as such but worth mentioning if you are interested in the shower of shit that passes for humanity here. Bit harsh maybe but its just lights, horrible bars playing grating house and ping pong shows, which for those who don't know have nothing to do with ping pong. We did get a giggle out of the terrifying model heads that line the streets though.
I'll try to anyway but it could be difficult as our trip to the jungles of Bukit Lawang was right up there with our favourite experiences of the travels so far. That said it was amazingly serene, with a dearth of anything constituting night life and most evenings were spent eating out whilst locals snoozed in the back or watched unintelligible soap operas. The drama was intense at times, transcending the language barrier and leaving us gripped.
For those of you eager to know what was on our iPods for the journey there I shall put you out of your misery. This time around I shared Natalie's and listened to everything from Nick Drake to Joanna Newsom, as well as one of my own mixes (above) because that is the kind of super cool guy I am. A brief and welcome interlude was when a busking band ran on the bus at one stop to run through a quick tune.
I do find it interesting how much our music choices change and adapt to our surroundings. Sumatra was more folky and organic sounding after the more electronic and industrial soundtrack to Japan. Then again I can be pretty dull and your probably not in the least interested so i'll tell you more about the jungle trek to see Orangutans which originally brought us to Bukit Lawang. (Below is one of the 4 bridges that crossed the river from our guesthouse to the town)
The night before we set off we were told by a fellow trekker that there was a wedding party going on in the town so we headed out to see how they celebrated. Much to our amazement the festivities consisted of a troupe of unconvincing lady boys playing with snakes, singing, dancing and dry humping a demon that had emerged from the crowds whilst an unimpressed man at a keyboard veered between 80s horror movie music and Euro Dance. All this from the Muslim country that had suggested Natalie covered her shoulders as to not offend anyone. Nothing like lady boys and monsters to keep all generations pleased. Good Clean Family Fun.
After a crack of dawn brekkie we packed our bags and got ready to go all Bear Grylls. Our guide Thomas was a proper joker and as well as showing us the secrets of the jungle such as the rubber tree, clove leaf and the sap that made incense he also kept us entertained with stories and recipes for herbal remedies to spice up your love life. According to him, if you mix together pure honey, the yolk of a duck's egg and Guiness "You will be taking off and NEVER landing".
I was pretty happy he was keeping it lighthearted and feeding me regularly as at times the 2 day trek got pretty rigorous. I really enjoyed getting stuck in though and seeing Orangutans in one of only two of their wild habitats left was pretty special. Unfortunately you don't always get that close and our camera is by no means at a professional level but we got a couple of decent snaps nonetheless.
The next day we passed up on a further 2 hour trek after Thomas said it was unlikely that we would see anything. Instead we joined the stragglers from another group and dossed about in a waterfall for a bit before rafting back. Hard work I know.
Our stay was coming to an end and as well as washing our clothes in the river (strangely satisfying) we spent time with the local kids by the river. Me doing my best Tarzan impression on a vine and Nat introducing them to the world of paste ups.
Oh and we found some more big things to continue the " Big things we have found in different countries that we have visited so far and then taken photos of" string of the blog.
The call to prayer was an almost ever present during our stay in Sumatra and on the last day I recorded this one at Bukit Lawang's Mosque.
About 200 yards from the Airport in the city of Medan we were met by this decorative archway. Believe me when I say that this is as good as it gets for that place. To go into any detail explaining how it is busy, noisy, polluted and slightly intimidating would be a waste of my time and the alphabet so I will move swiftly on. *Incidentally, Sumatra is the first country I have experienced being a millionaire in, with 100 pounds equalling almost 1.5 million Rupias
Our first stop in Sumatra was Lake Toba on the recommendation of an old work colleague who had been there so we headed straight for the bus station to commence our 5 hour journey. What I realise now is that writing retrospectively doesn't really accurately convey our experiences and feelings as they happened. When we first got to Medan we were excited by its rough and ready feel, revelling in the hustle and bustle after the comparative sterility of Penang.
So to with the buses. At first these rickety buses crammed full of people with not even the faintest hint of ventilation were revelatory and we spent the whole 5 hours taking in the sights and sounds of our new surroundings. After 3 or 4 more, which seemed to get progressively more challenging with each trip we got tired of journeys that consisted of being pushed about whilst other passengers competed to see how many cigarettes they could smoke and drivers attempted progressively more nerve racking manoeuveres to overtake using a highway code consisting of beeping horns and waving arms. See below how happy we look.
Enough with the finer details of our transport though, i'm failing miserably to catch up with myself as this all happened the best part of 3 weeks ago and i'm supposed to be cramming before Cambodia. A quick note on Lake Toba before I regale you with tales of our days there is that it apparently resisted the Colonial rule of Holland for over 100 years longer than the rest of Northern Sumatra due to stories of its inhabitants being cannibals. It is basically a Volcanic Island the size of Singapore in the middle of a huge lake and people were said to be too scared to cross over for fear of being eaten alive. No such worries nowadays so we hopped on the ferry over.
On the boat we were approached by a timid local called Anto, whose hostel we ended up staying at. We soon came to find out that the large majority of the younger people on the island are constantly high out of their minds as demonstrated by a string of Anto's mates who came to lie down in the communal area and generally talk nonsense to us. When one friend came in looking utterly baffled and grinning from ear to ear we asked Anto if everything was OK. He turned to us casually as you like and said "don't worry, he has just had too many mushrooms". As well as everyone smoking from morning til night they are also partial to a mushroom of the magical variety and advertise them at every opportunity. Not interested in the Western or Indonesian food? Not to worry, we have every base covered here.
We woke up to our first morning on the island to this great view over the lake and there really was nothing else to do but chill out and take in the island at our leisure.
Day 1 was spent whiling away the hours on a jetty just offshore and reading and boy does that make an exciting read for you lucky people. To try and add some substance to this post I will now show you some examples of traditional Batak houses, starting with the one facing us on the jetty.
We had agreed to not be tempted by the iffy looking mopeds so instead we hired pedal bikes much to the amusement of the locals. I don't think they are used that regularly as everyone from 8 upwards has a moped. Undeterred we set off to see more of the island for the day and suffice to say we had a great time, even the laughable Museum we found along the way didn't dampen our spirits.
All day we were greeted cheerily by the local kids like the ones above who chased us along with their tire and stick. Its no exaggeration to say I was hoarse at the end of it after having to shout hello back to people for hours on end. We felt that we were really settling in and being made to feel welcome which made it all the more upsetting the next day when after telling Anto we were going to move on to stay in a traditional Batak house he hit the roof, started getting really aggressive and telling us that we owed him money for the room which we had paid the night before. After the ensuing argument we were told to move on, which we quite happily did. We were only planning to stay one more day to see the traditional Batak dancing the next evening but we decided to move our departure date to the next morning.
On the plus side that night seemed to be the unofficial day to get drunk on homebrew and sing folk songs. After hearing some amazing singing on our way to a new hostel and failing to capture it I finally recorded some at our new place. The girls who had been singing with this guy got shy and hid away when I got the dictaphone out but its an taste if nothing else.
Undeterred by the rain or yet another unforgiving high rise skyline we moved on to Penang in search of the "Tropical Paradise" I mentioned before. There had been a bit of a let up in the showers and when we got to Penang it turned out the coast wasn't so badly affected, which was a welcome reprieve.
Before we found the white sands of Ferringhi Beach (seen below) we had a funny chapter worth mentioning after we hopped on a ferry over to Butterworth with no information to back up our clear conviction that this was the way to go to find the beach. As the boat approached land and the coast became clear we realised we were heading towards a glorified industrial estate where the main attraction seemed not to be a beach but a massive Shell Oil plant. Thankfully we saw the funny side of this and the giggles only continued when Nat uttered the now immortal line (to me at least) "Oh Shell. Are they the people who make shell suits". Pure class.
WE DID IT! See. A beach. Nothing to do now but swim, snooze, listen to tunes and read our books and that is just how we wanted it. Nat also found this huge butterfly which begins what will be a regular feature of the blog called " Big things we have found in different countries that we have visited so far and then taken photos of". Granted the name needs a little work but the size of the butterfly is impressive none the less.
A few days into our stay in Penang we had booked our flights over to Sumatra in Indonesia. This move may have been encouraged by the lack of interesting things to do aside from the beach or dodgy "Reggae" bars full of equally dodgy Gap Yearers and Americans. Alternately, it could have been due to the fact that our sleep was disturbed most nights by blood curdling screams coming through hostel walls for which "paper thin" would be a flattering description. Either way, we didn't feel unduly pressured into an extended stay or trying to immerse ourselves in the culture.
On our last night we had one last stab at trying to experience something approaching the real Penang, as futile as that may have seemed. During one bus trip back from the beach we had seen a food court full of locals so we set off from the horror hostel in search of something similar. Before long our stroll had brought us to a promising looking establishment with a wide variety of Malay and Asian Cuisine on offer so we optimistically took our seats. Unfortunately, not long after ordering our food we got treated to a the first of the cabaret acts of the evening, a club singer reeling off a medley of Beatles classics in a style that wouldn't have been out of place on Phoenix Nights. If you weren't sure at this point, let me reiterate, this was NOT the "Real Penang". This was a place where Chinese tourists polish off towers of beer and red faced English drunks leer wordlessly through sullen eyes at their suspiciously purchased looking partners. Just when we thought it couldn't get worse we were forced to endure an awful girl band murdering a selection of tunes and dancing like amphetamine addled mannequins. Nothing like a misadventure ey?
As I write we are a month into our travels and it has been a few weeks since I updated you with our movements. In all honesty I had begun finding it slightly tedious recapping our experiences so thoroughly and with such regularity but I don't want to get too far behind myself so i'm online once again to give me fingertips a battering. In addition to my increasing disillusionment with my new role as a blogger I also felt that I didn't really have much of note to report after the all out assault of the senses that was Japan. However, if you do want to know what book I have been reading or what I have been eating on a daily basis feel free to message me. Alternately, take a long hard look at yourself and commit to getting a life.
After Tokyo, the city of all cities, all we wanted was some sort of quiet haven to rest in. What we got instead was another concrete and steel jungle, this one with a few more rough edges and an odd fixation with shopping malls. In its defence, Kula Lumpur or KL is an exciting multi-cultural city with great cheap food on every street which obviously pleased me no end.
Oh, did I mention it was monsoon season? No? Well it was and when the heavens opened you knew about it. This quite quickly put paid to our plans to find a tropical paradise to while away our days. Instead we pottered about the city for 3 or 4 days trying to entertain ourselves whilst escaping an imminent thunderstorm. One way we got our kicks was to take photos of me by the twin towers, showing off my new counterfeit Casio Illuminator with the picture framed to make it seem like I was on a green screen. I feel you will agree this was a worthwhile undertaking when you see the results below.
Not to be defeated by the unexpected meteorological goings on we planned a day trip to the Bat Caves just out of the city centre. One sweaty, uncomfortable, air conditioning free train journey later we were ready to be harassed by monkeys and left slightly underwhelmed. On the way in there were a few nice traditional sculptures and monuments worth showing you but after that it was a 200 step incline to a distinctly bat free cave (being daytime), spent feeling like a victim and cowering away from gangs of monkeys set up to ambush us for our bags and cans of Sprite.
For those who successfully made it to the top, this was the view we were met with. Not bad but i'm not sure it was worth the torment.
Before I move on to telling you of our adventures on the island of Penang I thought i'd share with you a couple of examples of the Malaysian street art that we saw on our failed mission to visit the Islamic Art Museum.
